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Hamburgers And Chips Are Good For You

by Mark Fiore

The day started with much anticipation. On the previous day, a visit to Tokyo’s Information Office had provided a description of a number of good hikes in the areas around Tokyo. For those who have not been to Tokyo, it is a working city, not much to do for a serious young adventurer. Thus, the idea of a good hike in the mountains around Tokyo was appealing.

On Saturday night I surveyed the brochure and the train map and found a “hard” hike that was accessible by the Tokyo transport system.

On Sunday, the day started early with the obligatory run. Knowing that I was in for a “hard” hike I kept it to a brisk 14kms in about 65 minutes. Even though it was early, the day was quite warm and humid. It is always the humidity that catches up with you.

A quick breakfast of fruit and yoghurt and I was out the door before 8.30am. A brisk walk to the local station. Being a Sunday morning, there were only a few thousand people milling around, not the usual 2 million, all who seem to be walking in the opposite direction to me. I found the correct train line, which is not easy to do when there are about ten in the station. To my surprise there was a stand with brochures and information about hikes. I was obviously in the right place. I grabbed a brochure and whilst it was in Japanese, the map was better than the one I had. There was a load of hikers, (you can tell them, they are the ones with back packs) and there were old ones, young ones, but not many foreign ones. I was not deterred. I jumped on the train and fortunately got told which was the correct carriage. It seems that at one stage of the trip, the train splits into two and that could have been disastrous (or so I thought).

The train trip was about 60 minutes. The scenery of the Tokyo suburbs was breathtaking or should I say sickening. With the quality of air in Tokyo the two are the same. Anyway, it wasn’t long before the train had split into two and the carriage I was in, headed for the right place. The Oyame mountains National Park. The mountain in particular was Mount Oyame which is a sacred mountain about 1300 metres tall and with spectacular views of the surrounding districts and on a good day, Mount Fuji. I was hoping for a good day.

From the train, I had to catch a bus for the base of the mountain. The bus was easy to find, I just had to follow the 60-70 pensioners with the back packs on. Obviously they do not have Bowling Clubs in Japan. We piled on the bus and it made its way up the narrow streets. The mountains were getting closer and the streets were getting narrower.

The bus driver nearly knocked over three motor cycles, two farmers and thirty Honda Civics. The bus finally arrived, without any scratches, to the base of the mountain. We all piled off and fortunately for me there was a series of shops. I suddenly had a thought, it may be a good idea to have a little food and drink. Thus, I purchased one bottle of water, one can of Pepsi and with all the weird looking food (I couldn’t work out whether any was edible), so I purchased one packet of dried apricots.

Past the shops the first set of stairs led to a Cable Car which was supposed to take us up to the first stage of the mountain to a holy shrine. When I got there it was like the line to the bistro at the local Leagues Club, about 200 old timers. Well, I thought, this was supposed to be a hard hike, so let’s forget the Cable Car and start from the base. I looked up the map and worked out the initial path. The route was 3.5 kilometres and I was only adding another half of kilometre. It took me past another smaller shrine, so I thought it would be good to see all the sights, while those other wimps would miss out on this one. I took off and started to climb the stairs. Boy there seemed to be a lot of stairs.

I reached the smaller shrine. It was really quite impressive. I am glad I walked (easy to say at this stage). I had a good looked around and caught my breath. Did I mention how humid it was? Man it was humid. After a few photos, I then headed off again and up. More stairs and then the stairs turned into a rough track with stones as stairs. This was quite hard going. Being a male of Mediterranean origin, I tend to sweat and boy, I was starting to sweat.

I pushed on and before I knew it I made the top of the Cable Car and the main shrine. There, to greet me was all those old timers looking like that had hit the jackpot on the pokies. Smart arses. I quickly mopped my brow and drank the can of Pepsi and felt better. The shrine was magnificent. These Japanese make a good church and in great spots. Better than the old Catholic Church at West Ryde. The scenery was magnificent. More pictures. Would you believe that the shrine had drink vending machines. Smart move by the local priest. Better option than passing the plate. I was smart, I decided to buy one more can of Coke. I was well prepared for the push up to the peak (oh yeah).

I found the stairs (you beauty, more stairs) and headed up. The old timers were still at the shrine. There was some more trails around that didn’t go to the top of the mountain. I thought it would be the last time I saw those bastards. Well, with a couple of other young people (at this stage I still considered myself young) I marched on at quite a pace. It was still another 2 kms to the top and it was quite a steep trail. The stairs were long gone and it was just a rough track with stones going up, and up and up. Did I mention how humid it was? Boy it was humid. By now my T-shirt was completely covered in sweat. Didn’t matter. I am a long distance runner, I am used to this.

I was passing plenty of people and I noticed that there were a wide spread of ages. From quite young, to the older type. Everyone was struggling, so I didn’t feel too bad. I kept a good pace. At a clearing there was a good view of the plain below and Tokyo. Well, it could have been Tokyo, but the air was so dirty I couldn’t see. Since the day was so humid (did I mention how humid?) it was quite misty (we call it smog in Sydney). Thus, it was not a great viewing day. Oh well. Not to matter it was a good hike and the mountains were very scenic. By the way, I decided to have half my water bottle. I thought I deserved it.

Keep going. I was passing a lot of people now. There was a wide range of ages. I passed a guy who was wearing his pajamas and some sandals with socks. He looked over 70. Must have been a priest from the shrine. He had the same dressing gown as the guys down there praying. I had never seen a fit priest before. I came across some kids, must have been under 6. How did they get here? Was there an elevator? Tough kids or tough dad. Probably the latter. Further up the track we were getting near the top. There was a break in the trees. I had reached a pass, which opened up to the other side of the mountain. Now I should see Mount Fuji. I peered into the distance. A friendly Japanese fellow, who spoke some English told me it was not a good day. Was this a premonition? He said that Fuji was that way, but too much cloud and mist to see. He also mentioned that it was still twenty minutes to the top. Well, no point it mucking about, press on.

I kept the pace at a good level and knocked off the remaining distance with not too much problem. Of course I was hot and boy, it was humid. My T-shirt was wet through from the sweat. My cap was wet through from the sweat. I had been sweating a lot. Not too worry. I was at the top. I must have been there, because there was over a hundred people sitting down having a picnic. How did all these people get up here?

Old people, kids and even a bloody dog. Oh well, I found a little space and settled down to enjoy the view, which was still magnificent even though a little misty. It was quite cool up here and now I had stopped walking I felt cold in my wet T-shirt. I was well prepared. I had a sweat shirt (did I mention sweat again). I ripped off the T-shirt and slipped into the sweat shirt. Now, I thought I would let my T-shirt dry. I was not quite sure how.

I tucked into my dried apricots and my can of coke. I was joined by the friendly Japanese fellow. He mentioned that he had performed this climb eleven times this year. He was training for golf. Hey, pass that by me again. Golf! I thought you practiced golf in a club house with a beer. These Japanese take their golf seriously. I asked him for the best route down. He said I could go down the same way, but there was another trail down, a bit longer but not too steep. How much longer? Three kilometres. No worries.

I started to head down. Near the top of the mountain was a toilet. One of those famous Japanese ones. Na, I will give it a miss. Also, there was a drink vending machine. Boy, those things are everywhere. The cost of a can of Coke was twice that down at the shrine. There was no way I was going to get ripped off. Who do they think I am? Some dummy. By the way, as I started off again I slipped on my T-shirt. Yuk. Guess what, it had not dried. Oh well, I was not up here to date any chicks.

The way down was not bad. Obviously, not so much hard work, but I was getting tired. Half way down, I finished my water bottle and kept going at a good pace. Getting down towards the bottom after a good 90 minute walk, I was feeling quite tired. Shit, look who’s there. The old timers. ‘Took the easy trail guys’. Wimps. ‘Get back to the bowling club’.

I passed the old fellows and headed for the bus stop. I found another drink vending machine. Back to the right price. I purchased a can of Coke and knocked it down fast. ‘Boy, I do not feel that good. I sure would like to find a decent toilet’. Anyway, the bus was waiting at the stop. I quickly jumped on, thinking it was about to go. However, we sat for awhile. Guess who got on. The bowling team. It was getting a bit stuffy in the bus and it was still quite hot. The bus finally got going and it headed down the narrow streets. Same story. Nearly ran over three motor cycles, two farmers and thirty Honda Civics. It was quite a bumpy ride and I was not feeling well. Finally got to the train station. We all piled off and raced over to the train station. With the rush, I reckoned that a train was due. Oh well, the toilet will have to wait.

The train was not long coming. I jumped on. It was an ‘all stops’ and would take over 60 minutes to get to Tokyo. I sat down and started getting stomach cramps. Boy, it must have been all those Cokes. The train was slow and I was in pain. At one of the major stops, the train dwelt for awhile. I noticed that some people had got out and moved to the next platform. Aha, an express train. I got up and struggled over. I jumped on the express train. Great this should make the trip a lot quicker. The only problem was the train was crowded and in Tokyo they can crowd a train. I had to stand and the stomach cramps were getting worse. The train was real stuffy and it was still hot. I was counting the stations down. I had four or five stations to go Boy it was stuffy in here, I really do feel unwell, and now dizzy as well.

The next thing I remember was feeling sleepy. Boy, I didn’t think I was in bed. I looked up and saw about a thousand people looking down on me. Shit, I am still on the train. Well, it is not an express any more. They had to stop it and about four guys in uniform crowded around me and put me on a stretcher and carried me off the train. Great, I could see the bowlers laughing now. Smart arses.

Well, now I was on some pokey little station somewhere in Tokyo, lying on a stretcher and feeling quite ill. This is not how I thought I would go. Oh well, when the big guy says your out, your out. After a little while some more guys in uniform picked me up and took me to the guards room. In the room, there was a bed and no, I didn’t ask why. The guys helped me on and I rested for a bit. Soon, I really did need to go to the toilet. So, I got gingerly to my feet and asked to use the station toilet. One of the guys showed me where it was and yes, it was one of those Japanese toilets. Well, this would be interesting. I could hardly stand and here I was, delicately poised above the porcelain hole. If you have heard the term, holding on for dear life, well that was what I was doing. Miraculously, I didn’t fall again and headed out of there pretty quick.

I headed back to the guard house and went back to bed. It wasn’t long before some more guys came. This time they looked slightly medical and could speak a little English. They helped me to me feet and told me that they were Ambulance officers. Oh yeah, how can I be sure. ‘Where is your identification?’ Anyway, they lead me out of the station and didn’t ask for my train ticket and lead me to an Ambulance. They put me in the back and started asking stupid questions. I told them nothing but my name and age. One of them took my pulse and asked me what was wrong. I told him I was sick. That is what I like about doctors. They always ask intelligent questions.

The head guy asked me what hospital did I want to go to. Now, hang on a second. In my 34 years I have not spent one night in hospital and I wasn’t going to start now in a foreign land where communication was going to be a problem. I realised I better start thinking straight. I sat up and thought ‘What would Boony say?’. I told the guy I would like to go to the Century Hyatt hospital. He wasn’t impressed. He told me that they were an Ambulance not a taxi. Good one Boony. I told the guy all I needed was a good rest and pleaded for him to let me go. They made me sign some form in Japanese and opened the door of the Ambulance. I made a break for it.

I stumbled out into the street and as usual there was about 1 million Japanese heading in the opposite direction. I looked for a busy road and made my way to it. Fortunately, it wasn’t far and there was a couple of taxis waiting around. I jumped in the first taxi and asked for the Century Hyatt. Off we went, and I started to feel a bit sick again. I opened the window of the taxi to get some fresh air. Big mistake. There is no such thing as fresh air in Tokyo. This would be interesting. Fortune struck again, I was closer to my hotel than I thought and within five minutes we were at my hotel. I paid the driver and stumbled out.

The concierge was on hand to help me to my room. He asked me if I wanted to see a doctor. I told him that it was not a good idea. Doctors and I never seem to get on. I laid down and slept for a couple of hours. When, I awoke I felt a bit better. I had a bath. I now felt a lot better. I rang for room service. ‘No funny food please. Just Hamburger and Chips.’ I quickly polished off my meal and went to bed. I slept through the night and in the morning felt fine. See, Hamburger and Chips are good for you.

Postcript. I really did enjoy my day trip. “That which does not destroy me, only makes me stronger”.